The Nude Bomb is funny surprise, much finding a tuna sandwich in the glovebox of your car.  Before watching I advise that you strap in and zip up or maybe don’t zip up to truly be in the spirit of the movie. This is cinematic acid trip which deserves a review with all the chaotic energy of a triple espresso shot with an overdoes of Viagra

So what is “The Nude Bomb”? Well, you can start by imagining James Bond and Inspector Gadget had a baby, and then left it at a daycare run by Roger Rabbit.  It’s a spy comedy starring Don Adams, reprising his legendary role as Maxwell Smart — a man so clueless, he makes a Joe Bidon look like Sherlock Holmes. He’s got the trench coat, the shoe phone  and enough dry one-liners to desiccate an Egyptian mummy. But this time, he’s not fighting KAOS with bullets or brains — no sir — he’s going after a villain who wants to explode everyone’s clothes off. That’s right. It’s not a metaphor. It’s a literal bomb that nukes your underpants!

The villain is a baddie named Nudo — very subtle and very Bond-esque.   He’s built the ultimate weapon of mass undress destruction. This guy is like if Dr. No watched too many Hustler porn movies and said, “Yes, this is my origin story.” However, instead of taking over the world with lasers or robots, he’s decided, “Let’s get rid of clothes! BOOM! Now you’re naked!” You gotta admire the boldness of the plot. Or maybe call Dr Susan Block for therapy. Possibly both.

The storytelling darts around like a gerbil on LSD. Maxwell Smart bumbles from one locale to another: ski resorts, fashion shows, underground lairs that look like IKEA on roids. He’s surrounded by an ensemble of agents and models and there’s even a talking typewriter at one point. The movie runs on logic on cartoon logic written by an infantile version of 80s toxic masculinity. .

Now this movie is damn funny but only you’re someone who enjoys a nostalgic high on disco fumes and wearing polyester pants.  But if you’re watching it now, stone-cold sober, you might feel like you’re being slowly attacked by dad jokes wielding banana peels. The humor is dated and from today’s perspective, it’s like being told that the Care Bares are teaming up with Dead Pool in the next sequel.

BUT! Don Adams sells it with his unforgettable his nasal delivery and eternal optimism, He’s like the weird uncle at Thanksgiving who tells the same joke every year, and dang it, you still laugh. There’s a charm, a weird nostalgic magic, like watching a roller disco ballet while blindfolded.

The Nude Bomb is a glorious, glittering missile with a happy face painted on it. It’s ridiculous. It’s nonsense. It’s got less plot than a Tiktok video. But it knows it’s ridiculous but that’s the point.   In a world of self-serious action flicks, sometimes you just need a naked bomb and a man with a shoe phone to remind you how weird things can get.

Need a laugh?  Then watch Up In Smoke

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This version has been translated to English. The French have very different sexual attitudes than Americans. Emmanuelle is a young woman married to an older man, who encourages her sexual independence. The film is adapted from an erotic novel by the same title, which was first released clandestinely in France in 1959. The novel was considered semi-auto biographical, written by the Thai wife of a French Diplomat, who according to legend were known for their sexual exploits among the expats of Bangkok. For it’s American release, the film was given an X rating, but as the movie poster described, “X was never like this”. Because the story is extremely female centered unlike most X-rated films. This was Columbia Pictures first X movie, and they re-edited it for an R rated US cinema release to reach more theaters. But the X version was offered back to the public with the rise in VHS.

This movie was a game changer in how much sex could be shown in a film. Frankly, the whole premise of the film is this young woman’s sexual exploration. It is best described as softcore porn, but was instrumental in female sexual empowerment. It is beautifully shot with the gorgeous Sylvia Kristel starring as the young Emmanuelle on location in Bangkok. The film Emmanuelle spawned 6 sequels. The first four movies and the seventh all starring Sylvia Kristel. The movie opened the doors for more sexually explicitly in films, never before seen in regular theaters, now commonplace in our adult media choices.

Sylvia Kristel interview

In 2007, Sylvia Kristel was interviewed by Telegraph writer Mick Brow. Mr. Brow remarked that the star of Emmanuelle was “winningly candid and unapologetic about herself, devoid of any airs or pretensions.” Sadly Sylvia died in her sleep in 2012 and it was also reported that she suffered with cancer. Regardless, you can watch her in another sexually charged classic, the 1981 movie Private Lessons.

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Private Lessons is about an adolescent male receiving private instruction in the one subject that dominates his thoughts. But it has a wonky subplot, about a multi-leveled blackmailing scheme, dreamed up by Howard Hessman playing the chauffeur. Sylvia Kristel stars as the sexy older woman and live-in french maid who seduces the young master of the house while his father is away on business. Ed Begley Jr. plays a supporting role as tennis instructor and finally confident to the wealthy principle character Philly (played by Eric Brown). The premise of Private Lessons is rather trite, but the soft porn movie does address the secret fantasies of many. Offering a solid soundtrack and nostalgia to those who first saw this movie during their curiosity driven teens.

Sylvia Kristel played highly sexual roles with her most notable being Emmanuelle in 1974. It was a role that she would play in 5 of the 7 film sequels. Conveying both a sentiment of genuine fondness for her young co-star and sexual openness, she is considered by many to be one of the silver screen’s legendary beauties. There is no doubt that she was the perfect choice to portray the role of the seductress.

Retro Classic Video Games

Private lessons would be an entirely different film if it was made today. There are many reasons for this, but mostly I believe it is due to the fact that our highly sexualized youth can no longer relate to the film. Which is not to say that the sexual obsession typical to most adolescent males has changed. But rather that the feminine mystique which was typical when this film was made and for generations prior, is not as prevalent these days.

It’s this mesmerizing fascination that was once held a young man’s interest which made Private Lessons relatable (at least from the fantasy perspective) for previous generations. The youthful uncertainty and apprehension made private lessons a comedy. Philly panics when his hormonal ambitions are given the opportunity he has spent countless hours envisioning.

Enhance your drinking experience

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