AirWolf : the helicopter that outruns missiles and out-cools James Bond.
AirWolf — the 1984 series pilot that’s part Top Gun, part James Bond, and part ‘What if a helicopter had a midlife crisis and joined the CIA?”
Say, kids! Ever seen one of those newfangled ‘television’ contraptions? Well, hold onto your 420 gummies, because I just had a real gone vision of the future called ‘Airwolf’ — The helicopter version of a swiss-army knife. Fully loaded with nuclear weapons.
The Scoop:
It’s Top Gun meets James Bond, but with more Pacman nostalgia than a Gen X’r lost in a mall! This jet-helicopter named AirWolf is hotter than a two-dollar pistol, stolen by foreign agents (not our foreigners, the other foreigners—you know the ones who climb walls!). Our hero, Stringfellow Hawke (played by Jan-Micheal Vincent, a fellow who looks like Henry Cavill after a three-day bender), has to get it back while brooding handsomely and avoiding sex.
The Action?
Daddy-o, this whirlybird does loop-de-loops that’d make the pilot of MH370 toss his cookies! It zooms through canyons, shoots commies (probably just college students), and makes noises like a broken CD player full of firecrackers! AirWolf stocks his prey in zero visibility, with electronic gadgets and escapes missiles with super sonic speed.
The Cast?
Ernest Borgnine (you know him from Escape from New York) plays a lovable old coot who wears shirts louder than a Bowery bum —imagine JD Vance as a New York bus mechanic! And the villain is played by Alex Cord. He’s a cold fish in a white suit, not cowboy white as if he’s really the good-guy. It’s reminiscent of a lab-coat, a would-be mad-scientist who has no moral code, and is aiming for world domination.
The Verdict?
It’s the cat’s pajamas! A high-flying hoot with more gadgets than a Dollar Store dumpster! Not exactly ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’, but who wants that when you can watch a flying gas tank turn reds into red mist?
